it's sort of like when your parents have the birds and bees conversation with you as a child how awkward that is it's sort of awkward when you start having that financial conversation with your your loved ones here and your parents right so it sort of flips it's the other side of that coin communication is key right staying in communication with your parents asking them about what kinds of things they are getting what kinds of things they are doing what's interesting to them so that you kind of can get a sense of are they seeing these kind of solicitation just ask them directly have you ever gotten one of these well first thing is stay vigilant keep an eye out if you go into mom and dad's house and their table is covered with mail it's covered with solicitations they come in all colors all sizes some look official some look personalized pay attention once your loved one gets on one of these lists it will never stop so the faster you can detect this and talk to your loved one about it say look this is a scam this is a fraud the better off you're going to be both my wife's parents and my parents are alive so it's just making sure that we're talking to them making sure that that they know who their money is going to and if you see anything that's out of the ordinary you know if you have if you still have house payments that's normal if you stopped car payments that's normal but all of a sudden you have a large transaction for a couple thousand dollars it isn't explainable there's you have to dig deeper as to why that's there if you're a family member and you think you have you have a parent or a relative that's that's involved in a scheme like this don't wait act act as quickly as you can to identify verify that you think this person is possibly a victim of a scam hey it's not going to be easy they may resist so get other family members involved get get your your your church or other other social groups involved to help convince them so that you can take quick decisive action